sadness in my heart

It's been a couple of days since I've update you on the happenings around here... and you're going to have to wait a little while longer for anything with much content, and I'm sorry about that.

Why my lack of posting? At first it was because it's finals week and I have a killer biochem exam to take tomorrow morning so I've been focusing on that. But then we got a text message in the middle of the night on Monday morning. My Oma passed away. And hearing news like that doesn't exactly inspire me to hop on Blogger and type up a handful of posts. So instead, you got silence... until I could figure out what I wanted to say that would do her justice.

She was a beautiful soul. Born and married in Germany, she and my Opa come to Wisconsin right before my dad was born. They raised their family here, began a handful of their own businesses, and enjoyed life. Then I came along. And after me, two grandsons.

We're a small family - only nine of us total, including spouses - but that doesn't mean my Oma was loved any less. In fact, she was special to me in a way that none of my other family members are.

You see, when I was younger, I felt out of place and like I didn't belong. My little brother looked exactly like my mom did as a kid and you could see my mom's dad and my mom's brother in him. When you looked at him you could tell he belonged to my mom's family. On the other hand, I didn't have features that gave me the same sense of belonging. I didn't look like my mom OR my dad.
Once I hit my teen years and started growing into my body a bit more, I realized that I was becoming my Oma. I always wondered why both of my parents were taller than me and I got stuck being short. Turns out I got my height from Oma. And my build. And my boobs. And my round face. And some of my facial features.
We were looking at old photos of hers from Germany and I kept seeing resemblances of me in photos. Every time I'd ask who it was in the photo, it was my Oma. That experience gave me such a sense of belonging and only brought me closer to her. We would giggle about our commonalities during the weekly phone call I made to her and it was a wonderful feeling of knowing where I came from - very comforting.

She had been sick with leukemia for years leading up to this, but that doesn't mean her death weighs any less on my heart. She will be missed dearly.

I hope you understand why You.And.Me.Are.We has been quiet this week and I hope you will return when my posts return to normal in a few days. While I usually work on blog posts on the weekend, this weekend will be filled with memorial services, family, and love. My posts will return next week with happier content, and I hope you'll be back then, too.

Until then...