In general, I try to face my fears head on. I know from past experiences that doing so is really the best way to conquer fears and move past them in a healthy way.
With that said, I can't find myself getting past the fear of losing my parents. I can't (and don't want to) face that fear head on.
My mom is one of my best friends. She and I can talk about things that I usually keep to myself. She gives me advice when I ask for it {and sometimes when I don't!} and is a great person to go to when I have ideas I want feedback on. She doesn't judge me but she does tell me when I'm about to make a stupid choice.
It's scary to think about the fact one day she'll be gone. I won't be able to access that wealth of knowledge or call her just to talk. I hope that my own daughters are grown by that time so that they can experience my mother and are able to have a relationship with her like I have had.
It also means that once my parents have gone, I'll be next in line, so to speak... and nobody wants to think of their own death - that's just morbid.
There was an acquaintance of mine in college who lost her mom in the middle of the semester. My heart broke for her. To think that she would be getting married without her mom there to be a physical part of her day. To think that she would have children and have no mother to turn to when she needed help and advice. To think that she wouldn't be able to just call her mom after a bad day.
It all seemed like a hard reality to wrap my head around.
I try to count my blessings often and think about how lucky I am that my mother is as supportive and loving of her children as she is for us. I know not everybody gets to experience such a mother's love... and sometimes those who do are left motherless.
Maybe losing my parents is an irrational fear I have - after all, everyone has to face it at some point - but that doesn't mean that I don't know it's going to hurt when I have to face that reality.
This post is part of the Summer Blog Challenge. To see more posts inspired by the challenge visit my Summer Blog Challenge page!
