In general, I try to face my fears head on. I know from past experiences that doing so is really the best way to conquer fears and move past them in a healthy way.
With that said, I can't find myself getting past the fear of losing my parents. I can't (and don't want to) face that fear head on.
My mom is one of my best friends. She and I can talk about things that I usually keep to myself. She gives me advice when I ask for it {and sometimes when I don't!} and is a great person to go to when I have ideas I want feedback on. She doesn't judge me but she does tell me when I'm about to make a stupid choice.
It's scary to think about the fact one day she'll be gone. I won't be able to access that wealth of knowledge or call her just to talk. I hope that my own daughters are grown by that time so that they can experience my mother and are able to have a relationship with her like I have had.
It also means that once my parents have gone, I'll be next in line, so to speak... and nobody wants to think of their own death - that's just morbid.
There was an acquaintance of mine in college who lost her mom in the middle of the semester. My heart broke for her. To think that she would be getting married without her mom there to be a physical part of her day. To think that she would have children and have no mother to turn to when she needed help and advice. To think that she wouldn't be able to just call her mom after a bad day.
It all seemed like a hard reality to wrap my head around.
I try to count my blessings often and think about how lucky I am that my mother is as supportive and loving of her children as she is for us. I know not everybody gets to experience such a mother's love... and sometimes those who do are left motherless.
Maybe losing my parents is an irrational fear I have - after all, everyone has to face it at some point - but that doesn't mean that I don't know it's going to hurt when I have to face that reality.
This post is part of the Summer Blog Challenge. To see more posts inspired by the challenge visit my Summer Blog Challenge page!
You will probably want to skip reading an upcoming post I just finished writing for the Summer Blog Challenge about the hardest challenge I've faced. It's about losing my dad. He died on January 5th of this year.
ReplyDeleteIt is an incredibly difficult experience. He, like your mom, was the one who I knew I could count on for advice, support, and encouragement.
In retrospect, I would have loved to ask his advice on a lot of different issues while either videotaping or audiotaping his answers. Then, type up what he said. I think these would have been wonderful gifts to my daughters as they go through life and wondered what their Papa would have done.
Your mom sounds like a very special and loving person. She sounds like she's a positive guiding force in your life!
My husband is already losing a parent, but not to death. She has Alzheimers and she is slowly losing who she is. It is so painful watching him go through this. He misses her, and she is still here. He misses her cooking- her apple pie and stuffed peppers. But she can't remember how to make them. And if she could, she would forget what she is doing in the middle of making it and would become confused. :( I am going to ask my father-in-law to gather some of my husband's favorite recipes of his mother's, so I can try to make them for him. I know they will probably not be exactly like his mom's, but I am hoping it helps... even a little. Death is also my fear, but for different reasons.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of us fear losing our parents and don't even want to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI love my mother very much and it hurts and scares me to think one day she'll die.
I can't even think about losing my parents! While everyone knows it's something that will happen because that's what happens, it's just so hard that no one really wants to think about it. Iknow what you mean, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is an irrational fear at all. I appreciate your approach to this prompt. It stirred some stuff up for me, too, that I am surprised I was willing to face...
ReplyDeleteAH! Fears! Read my post to see what I am afraid of... in addition to being afraid of the dark, ofcourse.
Thanks for all of your kind words and support regarding this post, ladies! It means a lot to me to have this sort of feedback on such a hard post to write.
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